It’s this time of the year again: HALLOWEEN.
I can’t hold back my excitement – pumpkins, slutty Harley Quinns, and, not to forget, killer clowns everywhere. I was actually thinking of either going on a killer-clown-hunt tonight or dressing up as one myself and scaring people in the forest, but since the risk of getting hurt is way too high either way, I decided to stay home instead. This might seem boring to most people, but it’s still better than doing stupid things whilst being drunk, passing out in a club, and looking at hundreds of embarrassing party pictures your friend kindly uploaded on Facebook with a hangover the morning after the big Halloween party. We both know it’s true and when you’re reading this blog post tomorrow, I can guarantee that you’ll regret having even thought of going out on a spooky night like this.
Now is the perfect time to admit to a bunch of strangers on the internet that I secretly HATE Halloween. That’s why my first reaction when my best friend announced that he’d dress up as Harley Quinn on Halloween was to end the friendship immediately. Of course, I didn’t do that, but I’d lie if I said that I didn’t feel wronged in a way because I wouldn’t have expected him of all people to do something as stupid as that. Then again, he is probably the most stupid person I know, but I guess that’s why I like him. Being stupid can be cute sometimes. Dressing up can be fun and I’m not trying to be a Halloween-Scrooge, but using Halloween to dress as slutty as possible and to get as drunk as possible is a stupid thing only college students and desperate housewives do.
Also, what is the point of getting a Pumpkin-spice-latte in August when Halloween is in October? Well played, Starbucks. That’s another thing I hate about Halloween: People use it as an excuse to torture innocent pumpkins. Green Peace should seriously think of starting a “save the pumpkins” petition for Halloween 2017. Another questionable thing about Halloween is that hundreds of babies are forced to wear a pumpkin costume so that their social media addicted mothers can get some likes on their pathetic Instagram and Facebook pages. But, to be honest, I can’t wait for the aftermath because then I can be like “God, I’m so glad I stayed home last night to drink tea, eat chocolate, listen to epic music and write an awesome blog-post instead of getting drunk and doing things I would definitely regret”. I can’t wait to hear my friend’s Harley Quinn Halloween story tomorrow…
I’m the girl who knows it all. xoxo