Houston, we have a problem

It’s Christmas time!!! Almost. But today was a good day to start Christmas shopping! My friend and I spent almost all day in Harrods and Fortnum and Mason. It was insane! I bought way too many stuff but at least it made me feel good. Buying expensive things AND Christmas make me happy. I bought a new Ted Baker bag, lots of make-up, chocolate, tea, short-bread, Christmas pudding, books and much more. The bad thing is that it made me feel too confident. I put on my new lipstick and BOOM! I turned into a cute little diva. More diva than cute unfortunately. This is not who I am. This is not who I wanna be. I mean sure, I looked hot af, but was it really worth it? Getting attention from tons of guys when I only want the attention of one? I didn’t even see him today. He hasn’t messaged me all day. I’m talking about film-guy by the way. We met yesterday. It wasn’t a proper date though. He picked me up at the castle and we went to his place, talked for ages and watched funny YouTube videos. He’s the kind of guy I could talk to 24/7. He’s funny, kind and most importantly: he’s trustworthy. I’ve only met him twice and I already feel like I can trust him with almost anything. We have a lot of things in common, we can laugh together, exchange weird and crazy ideas, take selfies, be rebels, and I can simply be myself around him. He’s the cuter version of my bestie. In other words: he’s the kind of guy I’d love to be with. But does he feel the same way about me? I just messaged my friend telling him “film guy clearly doesn’t like me ;(” and that’s how he replied: “Message me again when no one likes you.” He really managed to cheer me up (no sarcasm). My bestie, on the other hand, seems to regret what he said/did when he was drunk, which is good because now I don’t have to worry about hurting his feelings. But he doesn’t seem to wanna hang out with me that much anymore. I have no idea why. Maybe it’s because of all the guy drama in my life or he’s busy. Okay, I just remembered that he’s busy with work so forget what I just said. That’s me worrying about all the little things in life. I’m a great worrier (pun intended). But Houston, we have a problem: I have a little crush on film-guy. Sigh… I knew this would happen! Last week I was thinking that I forgot what it feels like to have a crush on someone and now life was so kind as to remind me. But since life is a bitch, it doesn’t want him to like me back. But did I wake up this morning thinking “Hmm I could need a new Ted Baker bag?“??? The answer is no. Did I wake up last Saturday thinking “I hope I’ll meet a cute guy today, get a crush on him and live happily ever after“??? NO. This proves that the best things in life happen unexpectedly. But what if I don’t get my happily ever after? I just got the crush and my crush is about to crush me. Like the little stalker I am I noticed that he was online, but didn’t read or respond to my message. This could mean two things: he’s either busy (like my bestie) or he’s not interested. I hope it’s the former because if it’s the latter then he’s most likely gay. But hey – at least I’d finally get to have a gay best friend then! I’m always trying to be optimistic. Nothing in life should be able to bring me down. I’ll try to worry less and live more from now on. And I swear I’ll finish my essay by Monday… Four days left!

Don’t forget,

I’m the girl who knows it all. xoxo


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