Friends, foes and f**kboys

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether someone genuinely likes you, secretly hates you or simply tries to get into your pants. Especially when you have a lot of guy friends. Like I do. It can hurt when one of your best friends tries to hit on you, gets rejected and then all of a sudden the friendship ends. Or a new friendship starts. A better one. The best of all times…

But are friends who, for instance, tell you that you aren’t fat real friends or friends who are secretly foes? On the one hand, they might be good friends because they want to make you feel good about yourself, but on the other hand, honesty is a great virtue and real friends wouldn’t hesitate a second to tell you that you gained a bit of weight to put it mildly. But what exactly is the difference between a friend and a foe (note: f**kboys will be discussed later on)? For vain, fashion obsessed divas like me friends are people who don’t make me feel self-conscious when I’m wearing no makeup and less pretty clothes than usual (note: I don’t own any ugly clothes and I love my whole wardrobe). Friends are people I can have fun with no matter what, people I can trust, people who manage to cheer me up when I have a bad day and simply people who value and respect me. Foes, however, are naturally the opposite of friends even though they sometimes can be disguised as friends. They are basically fake friends and therefore people everyone should get rid of. Fake friends will never make you happy which is why I’d rather be alone than have a bunch of fake friends who secretly envy and hate me. Good friends are people who stick around and not just people who message you when they need a favour or help with something. The best thing to do is to get rid of them ASAP.

Now that we’ve defined friends and foes we can finally move on to the worst kind of people right after Hitler and Satan: f**kboys. A f**kboy, according to Urban Dictionary, is “a person who is a weak ass p*ssy  that ain’t bout sh*t.” Sounds like the kind of person you should definitely stay away from. But sometimes it’s not that easy. Especially when they are on almost all of your courses, sitting next to you in all of them and keep spamming you with messages inviting you over for dinner, studying or stargazing. But when 60789 messages later you’re still busy trying to get rid of them, then, my friend, you can be sure that you’ve found the leader of all f**kboys. This is exactly what happened to me. I found him. The most determined f**kboy of all time. At first, I thought he genuinely wanted to be my friend, but when he started to ask me out over and over again and I kept rejecting him over and over again, which made him angry instead of simply accepting it, I realised that he didn’t want to be my friend. So when he messaged me this morning telling me to come over to “cuddle” and when I refused – not without roasting him – and he all of a sudden started telling me about his nonexistent sex-life, I decided that enough was enough: I would never reply to one of his creepy f**kboy messages again. Because f**kboys are worse than foes for they don’t crave your destruction but your body. The next time a f**kboy messages you, block him immediately! Because that’s the wise thing to do in a situation like this.

Don’t forget,

I’m the girl who knows it all. xoxo

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